I had a colleague at work ask me some relationship advice after a hard break up. I said to him 'what if I told you that you were going to die next week?'
What a whammy that was for him. His face looked like a kid that just got told I ate all of their halloween candy.
But I was serious.
'If you found out you were going to die next week, would you spend more time stewing over the past with regret and what you could’ve done differently? Or would you get out there and love LIFE more fiercely than ever?'
First of all don't go thinking I'm a cold hard bitch or super morbid person. I'm not talking about the grieving process of a break-up here, by all means bury your head in a bucket of Ben and Jerry's or down five glasses of wine and sing 'All By Myself' (thanks Bridget Jones). But when it comes to life in itself and grabbing it by the fricken balls, yes think of your death.
And no, don't contemplate how you're going to die because you will not gain anything from this lesson and probably end up with hellish nightmares. But just come to terms with the fact that one day you won't be here anymore, so what are you doing with your 86,400 seconds a day you're getting right now?
Are you spending it on draining shit that doesn't serve you? My husband literally drains shit sometimes as a plumber but that's different, he's okay with that. I'm talking about saying yes to things you really want to say no to, crying over spilt fricken milk, looking at yourself in the mirror with loathe, being in a job that's like watching paint dry on a wall, or hanging out with energy vampires that you politely nod your head at to but secretly want to stick a picture of their head on a dartboard.
You might not have a bank account with money, again just another commodity you don't need to waste your time pining over. But what you do have is a life account. What if you were to stop draining that account of frustration and misery, and invest it with a 'hell yeah' and 'turn down for what' (cue music).
Strangely enough this isn’t the first time I’ve delivered this answer to someone asking me for life advice. I’ve had another girl ask me how to get over fear and all of that annoying blah blah stuff we go through as creatives. My answer was again, think about death - the pain of not chasing your dream will always hurt more than the fear of failing.
Instead of running for the hills thinking I'm a psychopath, she totally digged my jam.
So if you knew you wouldn't be on this earth next week, what would actually matter to you? How would you actually live your life?
Instead of just tiptoeing around your great ideas, get the hell in there and get your hands dirty. Instead of just running away from the rain, stand in it and bloody sing like Gene Kelly. Instead of just looking down when you walk, look up and smile at every damn human being that walks past you. Instead of just giving an awkward one arm hug or cheek touching but not really kiss, squeeze that person so fucking tight and snog all over their goddamn face!
The idea of death is giving you a gift here - to truly FEEL something again. So leave something behind that will make a damn riveting Eulogy and one heck of a memorial plaque.